Kai Laigo Productions | 59 min | Early Screener review by Ben Akbar.
Okay so I watched this early screener copy of USB last night at like 1am with a warm beer and honestly? I feel like I owe that beer an apology for not paying more attention to it.
Let me back up.
USB is a movie made entirely by AI. No actors. No Hollywood suits. No focus groups full of dipshits deciding what suburban moms will tolerate. Just pure, unfiltered machine nightmare fuel assembled by someone named Kai Laigo who clearly has zero interest in making you comfortable. I respect that enormously.
What Even Is This Thing
Okay so there’s no plot. Not like “hard to follow” no plot — I mean there is genuinely no plot and the movie doesn’t care and you will get over it in about 45 seconds. What there IS, is a relentless parade of images that feel like someone fed every genre of film ever made into a blender and hit pulse until the lid flew off.
We got: a giant spiked lizard thing squaring up against a soldier in a jungle. A WWII warship getting absolutely demolished in black and white. Some kind of cult campfire situation with a skull ghost. A werewolf on a spaceship. A dude in a Santa suit wearing a demon mask, holding a shotgun in a parking garage with his arms raised like he just won something. An apocalyptic red laser beam over a cemetery. Two guys in a gray room arguing in front of a crucifix, one of them bright red and built like a nightmare action figure.
And then, in the middle of all this chaos — a peaceful park bench. Plaque reads: Beloved Grandpa Leonard. Sunny day. Birds probably chirping. I don’t know why this wrecked me but it did.
Why It Slaps
Most movies are cowards. They hold your hand through every single scene because they don’t trust you to handle anything unfamiliar. USB treats you like an adult, or possibly like a feral animal, which I personally find more flattering.
The visuals are legitimately stunning. Like I am not a guy who uses the word “stunning” — I am a guy who writes about bands with names like Intestinal Collapse — but there it is. The demon Santa alone is worth the price of admission. The graveyard shot looks like a black metal album cover achieved sentience and learned cinematography.
At 59 minutes it also knows when to shut up, which puts it ahead of every Marvel movie ever made by a factor of about three hours.
The Part Where I Say Something Smart
People are gonna write USB off because it’s AI and they have feelings about that. Those people are boring and their opinions on cinema should not be sought. Kai Laigo Productions has made something with more genuine attitude and visual imagination than 90% of what’s rotting on streaming right now.
Is it weird? Absolutely. Does it make sense? Not conventionally. Do I care? I watched a werewolf on a spaceship, a demon Santa, and a haunted bench dedicated to Grandpa Leonard all in the same hour and felt more alive than I have at any movie theater in years.
